Friday, May 1, 2009

You texted it, you can't un-text it!

Texts don't disappear down the memory hole as easily as a conversation. Just keep that in mind.


(845): At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
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(518): Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
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(709): i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
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(843): I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
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(516): Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
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(573): My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
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(912): i woke up with socks on this morning
(485): so?
(912): i didnt wear socks last night
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(417): He has such a weird drunk-voice.
(1-417): dude, he's deaf.
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(216): ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
(740): 100 blowjobs
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(310): All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
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(248): Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
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(408): I think I just got seasick
(409): you're not on a boat
(408): he has a waterbed.
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(619): Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
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(707): Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
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(617): I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
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(512): I pooped in a mop bucket.
(1-512): WTF???
(512): Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
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(517): I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
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(765): just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
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(804): Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
(1-804): wow, that really makes you stop and think.
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(206): Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad


Do you remember back before the Internet, there was this thing called shame?

Me Neither.

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